Tween Town, Not Just for Girls

I got a flood of questions about where to take boys. The boys probably won’t want to do a lot of the same kind of shopping, going to tea or doing their makeup before the show, but most of the suggestions were great for all tweens.

Here are a few more ideas. Madame Toussaud’s is a lot of fun and even with a pricey entry it is freaky and fun. (there are tourist pass tickets that give you discounts at lots of places, like the Empire State Building and if you are doing a lot of the regular touristic things they may be worth it) The Top of the Rock, at Rockefeller Center is supposed to be great for a view of the city if you don’t want to go all the way to 34th St. If your guests are coming from a smaller city, run them inside a couple of Buildings that are amazing spaces that you won’t see anywhere else. In Grand Central (there are good building tours, although you need to know your kid if they would enjoy it or not) there is a spot in front of the Oyster Bar where you can stand in one corner facing the corner and whisper and if someone stands facing the opposite corner they can hear you. Also the food court downstairs is pretty good if you need a snack), and the Reading Room at the Public Library makes a good stop to have a quiet moment if you have sensory overload in Times Square.

I love roaming around the tip of Manhattan. I would wait in line for Ellis Island, and that is saying something. The museum is great and if you have any information on the year that your family member entered the country, it is the biggest thrill to find their signature on the ship’s Leger. You can spend the whole day below Chambers St. I don’t spend much time at South Street Seaport unless it is to pick up tickets at TKTS (shorter lines than uptown) The National Museum of the American Indian (because it is part of the Smithsonian, it is free, your federal tax dollars at work) in the Customs House is great. They opened a beautiful museum on the Mall in DC, but 95% of the collection remains in NY. Spend a lot of time enjoying Hudson River Park, your guests will want to move to NYC. Don’t miss the Museum of Jewish Heritage and the Irish Famine Memorial (this is a particularly lovely and unusual little park north of the World Financial Center, really, it is worth looking for) Walk the whole length of Hudson River Park, it is beautifully and unusually landscaped with wonderful playgrounds for young kids and games and sports equipment at the ranger’s station for older children. When you get to the north end you can walk over the Stuyvesant pedestrian bridge and find a nice bistro in Tribeca for a bite or if you haven’t had enough walking you can completely wear out the soles of their shoes and head due east to City Hall and over The Bridge.

Once you are in Brooklyn, the Transit Museum is small and good (really great for young kids, especially on rainy days) I think that the Carousel in Prospect Park beats all others. The adorable Prospect Park Zoo (check out the Pigeon exhibit) and the southern entrance to the Botanical Garden are right across the street (Flatbush, that is). Bring your stale bagels! Maybe it sounds too low impact when there is so much to see in NY, but sitting in the Japanese Garden and feeding the giant Koi fish and turtles can be a big high-light when the kids are otherwise on overload. It is also very, very beautiful. If you are visiting the Brooklyn Museum (great kids programs and First Saturdays) have brunch at Tom’s Restaurant a couple blocks north on Washington Ave. (not open on Sundays) This neighborhood institution is very kid friendly and if you are waiting they pass out cookies. It helps your guests understand that New York is a city of neighborhoods that are really like the best small towns.

Finally the NY Times had a good article about backstage tours last weekend. I can guarantee that the backstage tour at the Met Opera is impressive, but I am interested in the Yankee Stadium tour which sounds awesome, whether you are a fan or not.

Stoop Sale Diaries #1

So my husband and I are stoop sale freaks. We know all the regulars, buyers and sellers. (A shout out here to Leslie, we still have your picture frame) We have seen the demise of the taped flier, to be followed by sidewalk chalk and Craig’s listings. We can read a sale. Recent breakup – lots of the ex’s belongings going cheap and “how to buy a puppy” books. World traveler – Frommer’s, Rick Steves, Time Out wherever and lots of small wooden carvings. Out grown the quirky collection – Pez, rusty lunch boxes, ice cream scoops. Long time neighborhood resident – clothes for under a dollar, paperbacks 50 cents, haggling is a sport not an insult.

Here is the #1 rule of selling – every sale you will make is an impulse buy for your customer. It doesn’t matter that you paid too much for your item new, and then never used it. On the street it is worth $2. If you are in it for the money, you will do better on eBay. The tradition of stoop sales in my humble opinion (as a seller as well as a buyer) is to get the stuff out of your house and recycle to someone who will love it. The more you buy, the cheaper the price should be.

This is what we found on Sunday:

3 Christmas Cd's (including Paul Revere and the Raiders Christmas)

a free bottle opener/10 second digital recorder

Ultimate Outburst (in the plastic, for use at the family reunion this summer)

Glitter batons for the two little girls downstairs

A small fan for my hot head husband

A wireless router (ours just broke!)

A wooden massage roller

The Illustrated History of the British Invasion

Various necklaces

A bright pink velvet evening jacket with lots of details (great with skinny jeans and the pink ballet flats we got last spring)

Every week you will inexplicably see the same book title over and over at all of the sales. The title changes from week to week. Some randomness expert needs to write their PHD dissertation on this phenomenon. This week every sale had Time and Again by Jack Finney, a book we enjoyed and bought several copies of to give to friends. More than the usual Harry Potters were also present.

We had some great conversations too; where to camp, hitchhiking in the Pacific Northwest, the best places to eat in Sullivan County, what it is like to own an Airstream, neighborhood choirs. Whether you buy or not, it is the easiest way to make small talk with your neighbors. Stoop sales give me a reason to stroll in the beautiful weather with my sweetheart and love all my funky neighbors (except the costume jewelry guy that is at every sale 5 minutes ahead of me)

Happy shopping!

Kids Take Action Against the Budget Cuts

This announcement was sent to brklynschoolsearch@yahoogroups.com

Kid Letter-Writing Campaign to Protest NYC School Budget Cuts
To protest the $450 million Department of Education budget cuts for 2008-2009,
two members of the PA at PS 87 in Manhattan are trying to implement a citywide protest project.

Modeled upon the 3rd grade letter project at PS 87 (which resulted in a very positive news piece on WABC on May 14th), the plan is to have students (accompanied by their parents) from different public schools around the city arrive at Tweed Courthouse (DOE headquarters) each afternoon in June to deliver giant envelopes filled with letters written by their classmates protesting the budget cuts.

Find Your Favorite HS On This List

If you think that you are mad about the Pre-K situation, wait until you see a 5 or 6% cut in your Middle or High School budget. Check out this list of exceptional schools that will be taking exceptional hits, loosing teachers and classes. Sure, it is just the AP classes and electives that may be cut. Tell that to your child who is studying all weekend to take the SAT II to try and have some hope of competing with students from the suburbs for a spot in college. Come to the Rally to Speak Out Against the $450 Million in NYC Education Cuts

Stuyvesant HS

345 Chambers St.

Monday, June 2, 4pm

This list comes from the most excellent Betty Zohar, UFT Parent and Community Liaison.

Largest Cuts in School Budgets

Manhattan Professional Performing Arts High School -6.09%

Queens Queens High School For the Sciences -5.96%

Manhattan 47 The American Sign Language School -5.92%

Brooklyn Urban Assembly Academy of Arts -5.89%

Queens York Early College Academy -5.88%

Brooklyn Lyons Community School -5.75%

Bronx Bronx Community High School -5.65%

Bronx English Language Learners and International Support Preparatory Academy -5.60%

Brooklyn The Brooklyn Latin School -5.58%

Queens Academy for Excellence Through the Arts -5.57%

Manhattan Academy for Social Action -5.56%

Bronx High School of American Studies -5.56%

Bronx Pan American International High School at Monroe -5.52%

Bronx Academy for Language And Technology -5.51%

Brooklyn Arts and Media Preparatory Academy -5.50%

Manhattan Eleanor Roosevelt High School -5.49%

Queens Pan American International High School I -5.48%

Manhattan N.Y.C. Lab School for Collaborative Studies -5.47%

Queens Baccalaureate School for Global Education -5.46%

Queens Queens Collegiate: A College Board School -5.44%

Manhattan NYCiSchool -5.42%

Staten Island P.S. 005 Huguenot -5.39%

Queens Academy for Careers in Television and Film -5.39%

Brooklyn Frederick Douglass Academy VII -5.38%

Brooklyn Life Academy High School for Film and Music -5.37%

Brooklyn Multicultural High School -5.35%

Manhattan Urban Assembly School for the Performing Arts -5.35%

Bronx Bronx High School of Science -5.34%

Manhattan Stuyvesant High School -5.32%

Staten Island Staten Island Technical High School -5.31%

Brooklyn Brighter Choice Community School -5.30%

Staten Island Gaynor McCown Expeditionary Learning School -5.30%

Staten Island Academy of Innovative Learning -5.29%

Queens The Active Learning Elementary School -5.27%

Queens Learners and Leaders -5.27%

Queens Knowledge and Power Preparatory -5.26%

Manhattan M.S. 255 Salk School of Science -5.25%

Brooklyn Urban Assembly Institute of Math and Science for Young Women -5.24%

Queens The Queens School of Inquiry -5.24%

Queens Civic Leadership Academy -5.23%

Queens Queens High School for Information, Research and Technology -5.23%

Queens Robert H. Goddard High School of Communication Arts and Technology -5.23%

Brooklyn Academy of Innovative Technology -5.23%

Brooklyn Frances Perkins Academy -5.23%

Manhattan Mott Hall II -5.23%

Manhattan N.Y.C. Museum School -5.22%

Brooklyn Brooklyn High School for Leadership and Community Service -5.22%

Brooklyn Olympus Academy -5.22%

Brooklyn Victory Collegiate High School -5.20%

Manhattan Gramercy Arts High School -5.20%

Bronx Knowledge and Power Preparatory -5.20%

Staten Island College of Staten Island High School for International Studies -5.14%

Queens J.H.S. 067 Louis Pasteur -5.14%

Queens North Queens Community High School -5.14%

Brooklyn Brooklyn Theatre Arts High School -5.13%

Brooklyn Brooklyn Bridge Academy -5.12%

Brooklyn High School for Innovation in Advertising And Media -5.12%

Bronx Bronx Haven High School -5.10%

Queens New York City Academy for Discovery -5.10%

Manhattan M.S. 260 Clinton School Writers and Artists -5.09%

Brooklyn It Takes a Village Academy -5.09%

Brooklyn Expeditionary Learning School -5.08%

Brooklyn Brooklyn Brownstone School -5.08%

Brooklyn Cultural Academy for the Arts and Sciences -5.07%

Brooklyn High School for Medical Professions -5.07%

Brooklyn Academy for Conservation and the Environment -5.07%

Brooklyn Brooklyn Lab School -5.07%

Brooklyn Urban Action Academy -5.07%

Queens Queens Preparatory Academy -5.06%

Brooklyn Brooklyn Generation School -5.05%

Bronx School for Environmental Citizenship -5.05%

Queens Bard High School Early College II -5.05%

Brooklyn Gotham Professional Arts Academy -5.02%

Brooklyn Brooklyn Community High School -5.00%

The Latest on Pre-K Registration

Jenny Medina’s article in the NY Times today spelled out the basics of the Pre-K registration situation. Insideschools.blogspot.com had details about the registration discrepancies from Andy Jacob at the DOE. “What happened, Jacob told me, was that the DOE's computers compared data for the older sibling claimed on the application with the data parents entered on the application. If the address in the attendance system for the older child didn't match the address as it was entered from the application, the system treated the applicant as a non-sibling. But in some cases, Jacob said, the address-matching excluded children erroneously, sometimes because of a minor difference in the way the addresses were formulated (with a typo in the DOE's attendance system, for example) and sometimes because families have moved since entering the school system.”

Another thing that was mentioned was that the sibling preference only applied to a first choice school.

Since acceptance letters are starting to come out, it appears that occasional discrepancies are still showing up on the neighborhood groups. Zoned children without a sib in the school that receives a rejection letter from a school that you believe has an acceptance for an unzoned child without a sib should contact the people below.

The June 23 application is for families that have not received any placement, but don't be surprised if this process goes through changes as the DOE deals with the problem at hand.

Pre-K

Yikes, the Pre-K letters are coming in and from the anecdotal evidence on the yahoo neighborhood groups there are some in-zone families with siblings that are not getting their placements. This may be an indication of errors in the system. Just in case this isn't a limited problem, I have listed a couple of contacts here to try and get answers. It would also be helpful to know when families start receiving acceptance letters.

If you need questions answered about an acceptance or rejection letter, call the DOE Central Enrollment Office.

How I Learned to Love Camping; Stop Packing.

I used to dread camping because it took forever to pack. The trick is to have a prepacked kitchen box and some equipment ready to just get in the car and go. Years ago I got an LLBean credit card with benefits. After you have collected enough points you get a $10 credit on LLBean stuff as well as free shipping (and monogramming if you are into that) That is how I got all our camping stuff (that I didn’t get at stoop sales). I just read a post that someone sent back their 8 year old tent for repair, for free. We had the experience that if they couldn’t repair something they gave us a new one. I like them.

This is what we always take:

Tent, a plastic sheet for under (tuck the edges under the tent so the water doesn’t wick under) a couple of big tarps with grommets for a rain cover over the tents (the tent waterproofing and rain flaps will probably work well, but the thought of keeping all rain off the top of the tent makes the rain sound cozy instead of ominous)

Sleeping Bags and roll up foam pads

A shelter for the picnic table with zippered net sides

The big ball of twine

A Swiss army knife

A little shovel

A whisk broom

A large flat round grill for the fire ring

A hammock

A couple of battery operated lanterns and flashlights for everyone

A net bag or toy bucket to carry your shampoo etc. to the showers

The kitchen box:

I got the shmancy one from Bean with my coupons, but really you could just have a big plastic box from Target with a lid that you keep packed with:

A set of plastic dishes (one set for each of you)

A big plastic bowl

A couple of mugs and utensils

A couple of stoop sale pots and a pan

Paper towels with the tube taken out (better for squashing)

Some folded tin foil, and a bunch of different sized zip lock bags (they come in handy for everything including storing food that is floating around in the melted ice of the cooler)

Salt, pepper, sugar, tea, ground coffee

Plastic french press coffee maker

Some stoop sale column candles and something pretty to put wildflowers in

A pretty vinyl table cloth (these things sound excessive, but when I am smelly and dirty and sleeping on the ground, nothing makes me feel better than having a good cup of coffee at my pretty table in the woods)

A bag of fire starters (those lighter soaked sawdust sticks that can start fires with the wettest wood)

Bic Barbecue lighter (some matches too)

Some long handled barbecue tools and skewers for shishkabab (the most delicious and easiest meal)

A large cooler with a tap to drain melted ice

A couple of collapsible camping buckets for water and dish washing

A small container of dishsoap

Batteries of all types

My most treasured item: The pie iron…

Butter two pieces of bread, put them in the cast iron sides, pour in some raw scrambled eggs and cheese, or some banana slices and peanut butter, or apple slices and cinnamon sugar, you are only limited by your own imagination. Close it, clamp it and put it in the fire for a couple of minutes. Repeat while a huge line of children forms behind you. On second thought take two pie irons. Being cast iron, they stay very hot for a long time, only experienced older children should be allowed to use them.

A word on food. I marinate meat for a couple of meals (cubes for shishkabab, etc.) and freeze them rock hard in a couple of quart Chinese soup containers. They thaw slowly in an icy cooler and keep everything else cold as well. I don't take those frozen plastic blue cold packs they are just dead weight after they thaw.

I am sure that I have forgotten something, but when you have a prepacked kitchen box it is less likely that you need to buy it at the horribly over priced camp store.

Where We Camp

We do at least one camping trip a year. We have had a lot of different experiences with campgrounds. Private campgrounds can be in beautiful locations, but some are pretty loose about alcohol and noise restrictions and that can make a beautiful spot horrible. We have gone the 5 star private campground route with relatives who like electric and water hook ups and all of the amenities. These are very well run and manicured with pools and lots of activities for kids, but you pay through the nose for a controlled experience. So far, for us the National and State campgrounds are the best combination of amenities, scenery and relative quiet.

We have been to Dingman’s and we have heard great things about North South Lake. Both of them are within an easy weekend drive of the city. We gravitate to the Delaware Water Gap for an easy weekend camp. If you are north of the Gap by Port Jervis eat at the Eagle’s Nest Restaurant (reasonable, American, family dining) for the most spectacular views of the river. 58 Eagle’s Nest Road Bloomington, NY 845 733-4561 April-Dec. W, TH, SUN 5:30-9

www.dingmanscampground.com

Lake George

www.lakegeorgeescape.com

This campsite had a pool, river campsites, a DJ and bonfires in the evening, tubing on the river, arts and crafts, go carts, and you pay for it, but the experienced RV campers that work at the store knew all of the most beautiful hidden hikes around Lake George. Even with all of the “designed for family fun” activities, the day that we spent at the secluded waterfall and picnicking on the rocks by the lake was the day the kids remember. We spent a day in town at the scary wax museum, water park and para sailing, and one day in Saratoga Springs walking around all of the different springs and checking out the race track. It was a fantastic trip, but there may be a more economical option close by. You just need to find a local that will fill you in on the secluded hikes around the east side of the lake.

Bar Harbor

https://barharborcampingresorts.com/

This was another fancy campground for the in-laws but it was in a good location, had a heated pool. It was located on a bay where we were able to collect pounds of mussels for our dinner at night. These private campgrounds have lots and lots of RVs so you are not exactly out in the wilderness. I am sure that you could find a more secluded spot, but it is nice to be on Mount Desert Island if you are making the park your destination. If you can plan ahead and make a reservation at the National Park, that is always the way to go.

http://www.nps.gov/acad/

Lancaster County

I won’t list the expensive campground we found here. It was a lovely week, but we found that with all of the activities and beautiful Amish farmland we couldn't get the nature fix we needed. It is all private farmland and though beautiful, we didn’t feel welcome to wander at will.

My next post will be about planning and packing.

Planning Great Trips

We start with the budget. The year we went to Costa Rica, we were really planning on going to California. I was just playing around on Orbitz. The plane fare to Costa Rica was cheaper. This year we were supposed to visit friends in Germany. The Euro was going to kill us. I got a tip on the soccer field. We decided on Ireland instead. We still had the Euro, but it was a much cheaper trip because it was all nature which is free. I forgot to mention our trip to Colonial Williamsburg in Feb. a couple of years ago. We go everywhere off season. We were at Mesa Verde the day after it opened for the season. Sometimes we don't see everything that you would see during the summer, but we are always the only people there and that makes it GREAT!

I have the money saved before we go. I found that a dedicated ingdirect account that I add to every month keeps the money safe from being used for other things. I love to see my spring break travel money in that account in Feb. when I am buying the tickets. This way we come home with the photos and no debt to play catch up with. It enables us to say "let's charter the boat out to seal island" without worrying about the extra hundred dollars.

I trade notes with my like-minded friends. All of my best ideas are versions of trips I borrowed from them. We visit friends when we can and some day soon we will probably start trading apt. overseas.

I also look for locations where the dollar is going to go the farthest. That isn't many places these days, but it sometimes leads us places we wouldn't normally go, including the Erie Canal.

My kids don't like museums. Even though they say they want to go to Paris, I know that they would be awful there; tired and grumpy. They will really want to go someday, but not just because it is where their friends went. When I plan, I have to be very realistic about my family's needs. My husband is unhappy if he doesn't feel he's getting a deal and he really doesn't care about the food (give him a jar of peanut butter and he is good to go in any country). He also doesn't like the same experience twice. My kids like nature and adventure travel and they have a pathological fear of being seen as tourists. We try and focus on being travelers rather than tourists for their delicate sensibilities. I am all about the food and the weirder and more original the experience the better. We ate crickets in Oaxaca. I can't remember where the car is parked, but I remember what was on the sandwich I ate when I was 10 years old driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains. To compromise we shop at local markets. I love them and I love to haggle, and my husband thinks we are getting a bargain. We like quirky experiences. The Neon Museum in Vegas and the Erie Canal going over a road were two highlights. We limit the electronics. I prefer to get lodging without TV. We have been reading aloud to each other from "All Creatures Great and Small" since Costa Rica. We laugh and do voices and read the same passages over and over because we always lose our place and fall asleep too soon. When I am older and grayer they will be the fondest memories of my life. I am not an ogre and my kids are not perfect. I will occasionally splurge on a fancy hotel (usually some great promotional deal online) and we will have the beautiful lobby, pool and huge TV. Not having it all the time really makes it a bigger deal.

I hope that I am teaching my children about the value of a dollar as I teach them about the value of the experience. They know we make a conscious effort to save to get something that we really love. They also know that we are saving for many other things as well; college, retirement, causes we believe need our support and a rainy day. It is no fun missing pizza night, but would you rather have Chinese food in Brooklyn or China?

Let me know where we should go next.

We take great trips

6 years ago when my children were 8, I made a decision for my family. Our family vacation time was exclusively about visiting relatives. As a child, my parents had taken us to amazing places; camping in the sand on St. John, houseboating the Border Lakes in Minnesota, biking and exploring and generally getting off the beaten track. I wanted similar memories with my children.

We looked at our stretched finances. We had a lot of vacation time, but not an unlimited budget. We decided as a family to take action. We do not order out, and we very rarely eat out. Now we have a vacation budget that allows us to take several great trips a year.

Here are some of the things that we have done:

Car trip to Nova Scotia - this was our first trip and the car broke down so many times that when we finally made it to Maine, the girls kissed the ground. We had the most wonderful time. It is when I knew that we would always be able to travel together. Every one of us was determined to make it a hilarious comedy of errors.

Family Reunion in the villa in Oaxaca - don't eat the famous cheese (it is unpasturized) but like my mother said, "the gauzy curtains are blowing, the volcano in the background, the fusia and birds of paradise are blooming, you wander out to the terra cotta patio, throw up and go back to your shaded hammock. In spite of the intestinal distress we loved all of the crafts, the beautiful colonial town, and had a blast in Mexico City in the very fancy business hotel that cost us barely anything.

Costa Rica, Nagoya Peninsula, Cloud Forest, Arenal - this is the trip by which all others are measured. Full moon horseback riding on the beach, going from the tidal pool for the morning swim to the waterfall pool for the afternoon swim, zip line in the cloud forest and the Smithsonian lodge with a cloudless Arenal volcano steadily spitting boulders.

Camping in Bar Harbor, Maine - one word, "lobster!" (Trenton Lobster Pot) we also gathered huge buckets of mussels at low tide and did the great day hikes all over the park. We love the Beehive!

Car trip in Arizona, Utah and Colorado (don't forget Vegas) - we came for the national parks, but despite ourselves, we loved Vegas. We were the casino's worst nightmare, (half price girls at the all you can eat buffet who can eat twice their weight in sushi and prime rib) and we hit every free show from the dancing waters outside the Belaggio to Pirates and back. Don't miss the Neon Sign Graveyard. And then there was Route 66 and hiking every canyon. We gave ourselves a challenge to have a person from every continent take our picture. Mission accomplished.

Eco camping on St. John, VI - Maho Bay, it was like a dream

Camping at Lake George and Saratoga Springs - our best camping trip ever, a little history, a lot of gorgeous hiking to waterfalls, putt putt golf, grossing ourselves out drinking at the healing springs, a day at the races

Visiting friends in Rio, and Buenos Aires - we were a little afraid of this one because of the violence in Rio, but living in a residential neighborhood (Ipenema, at that) and trips to Busios and Paratyi made it a dream come true. Watching our new favorite soccer team, Botafogo win in overtime was unbelievable. A little grownup side trip to Buenos Aires for my husband's 50 birthday was perfect. "Surprise honey, I'm buying you a steak for your birthday, get back on the plane!"

Barge down the Erie Canal - slow down to 6 miles an hour and you won't believe how beautiful western NY state is from the canal. Lift bridges and locks, beautiful birds and gin and tonics under the canopy of the European canal boat that sleeps 6. My parents joined us to help with the driving. The kids road their bikes along the tow path, gave directions to the lock masters on the radio and read while lounging on the top of the barge.

Staying in a Lighthouse in Co. Clare, Ireland -We just got back from Ireland two weeks ago. We did a "self catering holiday" in an Irish Landmark Trust property. We stayed in the Loop Head Lighthouse keepers cottage (it has a real working light) on the edge of a cliff at the end of the road, literally. Beautiful drives every day, guiness and music in the pubs and back home to a peat fire.

I want more ideas. Let me know what you have done. We are going to Northern California for my 50th next spring.

Watch this blog for tips on planning.

Lice Wars

How to deal with head lice.
My girls started getting lice in kindergarten. Dress up, coats in a pile, sleepovers sharing beds and baths, and the ultimate culprit - Picture Day, all contributed to the problem. Like clockwork, every year in Oct. about a week after Picture Day we would get a visit from our newest pets. I truly believe that they weren't sharing combs, and I do not blame the school at all. The lice were just loosened up and getting around. For the most part it ended in third grade. Girls had shorter hair, and they weren't rolling around and rubbing heads together as much, maybe also they were just growing up and not playing so much dress-up anymore.

I am relatively bug squeamish and I am not at all afraid of head lice. I see them as cunning adversaries. In all of the years that we were plagued, my husband and I never got them and I was so used to them in the end that I would do the lice check on my own bed. The girls were also never re-infested from our house, it always came in direct relation to a playdate with a friend who had them or picture day. They really seem to go from head to head.

The nits are light colored on my ash blond children's hair, near the scalp. The lice stay at the scalp and don't venture far down the strands. I have heard they like secluded places like behind the ears and low at the neck, but ours always brazenly stayed within easy sight right on the top of the head, laughing at me. Full grown, the lice are light brown and flat almond shape, like a flax seed, and they are fast. You will just see them out of the corner of your eye in a lice check and they will be gone, in an instant. I have spent hours chasing one around my darling's scalp, until she developed a relationship, "don't get 'Biggie', he's my friend"?! Lice checks are when I first discovered that I needed bifocals. The "lice call" from school was always the worst. I only had to say "Lice" to my boss and she handed me my car keys and said that she would see me in the morning. Sometimes it was a false alarm, some dandruff or stray glitter glue, which is infuriating. I have to say that if you suspect that your child has lice you need to have full disclosure to family and friends. Do not send them to the party, or the sleepover - you will lose friends and nothing spoils a reputation faster than being lazy with your disclosure. I won't tell you about the time I had the girls' sweet friend sitting on the hard wood floor at 10pm with our carpets rolled up and her head swathed in olive oil and saran wrap because she had such a bad infestation that I could see them from across the room. I was alone and couldn't get to the drug store and her parents weren't answering their phone.

Let me start off by saying that after reading everything written on them and trying every remedy from the hippie dippy to DDT, I now have THE tried and true, easy, surefire solution. This method removes all lice and nits and it is kind of fun to do. You need a really good lice comb. Check out a metal lice comb at www.colonialmedical.com/product.php?productid=18574 (search for "metal lice comb" I'm not too good with my links yet) I haven't seen this one in person, but I think it is the right model. It needs to have round tongs that have no air between them. Do not use the lice combs you get free in the Rid box, they are useless. You need a roll of paper towels and a bottle of Pantene conditioner.

First squeeze a ton of conditioner all over your child's barely damp head. Rub it around so no lice can escape the goo. Then start combing. Make sure that you are combing from the scalp and do it over and over. You will be combing out great gobs of conditioner and wiping on the paper towels. The Pantene is good because it is white and you see everything that is coming off the hair. It also has enough body that no lice can get away. You will see the nits and the occasional louse, you will also see sand, glitter, pieces of old sandwich and stickers (a child's life spread out before you on that paper towel). Keep doing it until you have a full, thorough pass of the head that comes up with nothing. Do it again the next day and if you come up liceless you are home free. It is as easy as that. Last summer on vacation I had 4 children with lice and in a little over an hour they were free and their hair smelled great! Then take all bedding and towels, wash and dry them hot. If you can wash and dry the stuffies that is great, if things can't be washed put them in a sealed garbage bag for two weeks to do the trick.

These are things that I tried; olive oil and baking soda, tea tree oil and tea tree oil shampoo, all of the over the counter treatments, a heavy duty prescription treatment, vigilant lice checks that took HOURS. The Pantene and thorough combing really, really works.

Courage, lice are nothing like bed bugs, they can be dealt with easily enough, or you can call the wonderful Lice Lady.

Tween Town

This is what I like to do with out of town tween girls in NYC. Here is the secret to being a great tour guide. Keep them fed at frequent intervals. Don't walk them like a regular New Yorkers; they will turn zombie on you. Jump in a cab FAST when you see it coming on. Keep the destinations varied; educational, silly, glamorous. It is hard not to make a tween trip all about the shopping, but if you sprinkle a little interesting and inexpensive shopping in between the museums, they may stay alert.
Upper East Side: If you are doing a museum (and you are taking your life in your hands to do two in a day) head further east and take a ride on the Roosevelt Island tram. Pack a deli sandwich to eat on Roosevelt Island, take a breath and look at Manhattan, stop in at Serendipity if there is no line (ha!) for a frozen hot chocolate, and top it off with a little shopping at Dylan's Candy Bar. Even though I am tired of it, Dylan's may just be the highlight of their trip.

Midtown: You could stop in at the Toys R Us to wait in line for the Ferris Wheel, but we like to ride the elevators in the Marriott Marquis for free (did I mention that they are glass elevators?). Get an "outside" elevator, one sort of in the center, ride all the way to the top floor and try for an uninterrupted trip to the ground floor. Repeat until you stop squealing. Then head across the street to the Edison Hotel restaurant for matzah ball soup, blintzes and egg creams. We also like to use the bathrooms at the Paramount or whatever fancy new boutique hotel has just been renovated. Undoubtedly, they have a Sephora at the mall at home, but you want to be glamorous when you go to Broadway. We go for makeovers before the show and put on the most fabulously outrageous peacock colored eyeshadow imaginable. It doesn't fly back home, but heh, you are having a madcap Manhattan weekend. The best lunch or dinner spot ever is the Burger Bar in the Parker Meridian in midtown. You go into this sleek, grand lobby, look for the small neon burger sign and enter another world; cardboard signs, grease stained paper bags of french fries and the occasional celebrity. The burgers aren't only great, they are the best bargain in town. You can't miss.

High tea is fun for tweens. Although I like to wear a big flowered hat, they usually don't allow it. It is great to stop for a fancy version at the Palace or some other institution, and contrast it with Tea and Sympathy in the village. There are some pretty good walking tours in the village as well. It is interesting for them to see a real speakeasy at Chumley's (even if it is only from the outside), the skinniest house, see the site of the Triangle Shirtwaist fire (which they study about in school) and the bodies buried under Washington Square Park when it was considered way out of town. You have to go to The Forbes Museum on lower 5th Ave. It is free and it is the perfect tween collection of Faberge' Eggs and Toys, beautifully displayed (I think that it closes at around 4 so don't leave it to the end of the day).

I like Sundays downtown. Dim sum at some huge Chinatown dumpling palace will blow their minds. Shopping at Pearl River, and a scoop of red bean or green tea at the Ice Cream Factory is always a hit. Then a tour at the Tenement Museum and a pickle on the lower east side. As long as you are downtown, walk across The Bridge and have some cheese cake at Juniors. Sit at the counter for the most colorful waiters.

I don't like waiting in line for things; it wastes time and drains energy. For me the Staten Island Ferry is a great view of the Statue of Liberty. The Empire State Building is open until midnight, so if you go early evening your wait isn't horrible (if you go at 11pm, it is even quieter, but there are lots of people kissing)

The best tour for out of town relatives that I ever heard was mentioned on WNYC. You get each visitor to write a country name on a slip of paper. You proceed to eat at a restaurant from each of those countries during their stay. You wake your guests at midnight, hop in a car and drive to Time Square to demonstrate that this is in fact, the city that never sleeps.

Bard High School Early College II

I know an 8th grade student whose method of choosing a High School I admire. Since there are still seats at her High School of choice, Bard High School Early College II, I thought I would share a bit of what she expressed to me.

Louise is a good student, whose test scores could have gotten her into many selective schools in NYC. In fact, she found 11 schools that she very thoughtfully and deliberately placed on her list of possible 12. She felt Bard was a good fit the first time she walked in, but she chose Bard II for her first choice because she has come to love science at her Middle School, MS 447 The Math and Science Exploratory School. Bard II's new principal was a science teacher at Bard College and she felt the school would have more of a science slant considering their partnership with the National Academy of Sciences. She likes the idea of starting fresh and not having to fit a mold. She knew it would be challenging, and there is a lot of pride in being in the first graduating class in what is bound to be a strong school. She will have a long commute in freshman year to Elmhurst, Queens from Park Slope, Brooklyn. She knows what she is in for and in her sophomore year the school will move to the Frank Sinatra HS building in Long Island City.

The thing I think impressed me most was the pragmatic way that she made her choice. She knew that Bard II, as a new school, would be looking hard for students and the classes might be smaller. All the students would feel united in a school that was a new experience for everyone. She knew she had something to offer the school and she could really make a difference.

Her advice to students picking a school:
#1 look for classes that you like
#2 think about if you feel comfortable there
#3 how far do you have to go to school
#4 is the environment bright and exciting or dull

To talk to Bard High School Early College go to the supplemental HS fair held Monday April 7 and Tuesday April 8 from 5-8pm at Brandeis HS (W. 84rd between Amsterdam and Columbus)

High School Choice

I hope that all you families of 8th graders had your dreams come true last week. If you didn't get a placement this is what you have to do.

Go to your guidance counselor and get a "supplemental application". You have until April 10 to make your choices. There will be two HS fairs for schools that still have spots on April 7th and 8th from 5-8pm. This fair will be held at Brandeis HS at W. 84rd between Amsterdam and Columbus. There are still some interesting schools on the list, including Bard II and nycischool. These schools will be making individual presentations at the fair so get there on time and make sure that you seek them out. Bring your students so they can have a say in the process.

A Wistful Ode to Rubber Pellet Season

This may be our last spring soccer season at the Parade Ground. My girls are old enough that I still think of it as mud season, when the Parade Ground was either a rock hard pitted dust bowl or a quagmire free of grass, except for the occasional goal blocking island of weeds. But now we stand on the flat, wide green plastic expanse looking vainly for our team, "Did they say field #11 or #7?" Scanning for parents that are good for an hour long gossip and alternately trying for a spot of sunlight to warm ourselves or a foot of shade to cool ourselves. We have spent the afternoons engrossed in talk of Bat Mitzvahs and Middle School applications, lessons on how to hack into our kid's Facebook and trading SHSAT tutor stories. I remember the season they all got their periods and we all went through menopause. Remember when they could tell an opponent was too old by her eye makeup. When did they all start using black eyeliner? I will miss their coach, with the patience of a saint, trying to get them to stop texting each other long enough to explain how to stop a ball with their chest. That was never going to happen. We didn't mind the losing seasons as long as they checked to see if the injured opponent was okay while the other team scored. They never understood that you couldn't argue with the ref. The righteous indignation of a teenage girl could talk the yellow right off the card.

I will never forget the twilight. They didn't grow up on a suburban deadend street where it is safe to stay out until you heard your mom yell. Standing in the dark listening to my girls play long after they could see the ball. They laughed and ran in the dark. Rubber pellets in the car.

Envelope Day

The hideous tradition of Envelope Day is here. You can almost hear 85,000 8th grade parents grinding their teeth. The lucky few who got their High School placements last month can breath easy. This process is the price we pay for choice. The question is whether it is worth it or not. I'm sure it is not worth it for the kids at the gifted middle schools who don't get offered the Specialized High School seats that seemed to be their right or the siblings that didn't get into the schools that their family members attended, the hard working achievers that chose the overly popular schools and come out of the process with nothing, or the students for whatever reason had too many absences in 7th grade. I can't comprehend the pain of a student who is baffled by the process, or the hopelessness of a hard worker whose grades or test scores don't qualify. For the children who have invested a lot in the process, who feel that their 14 year old self esteem or dignity may be dictated by that letter sent out by computer. Right now I feel sorry for the kids I know that quietly wait for the elation or despair. New York is not easy. I just hope that they don't feel that the envelope is infallible. It doesn't say who they are or what they can be. I hope they aren't sorry and they have good friends and find a teacher that will change their lives and make them love learning for it's own sake. I hope that they will know their own worth no matter what the envelope says.
In Great Britain aren't there exams that you take in middle school that determine what kind of training you will have? How do children there handle the "this test will affect the rest of my life" pressure? It seems like we are getting closer and closer to that.

Sing is sung

We experienced the last "Sing" performance a couple of weeks ago and now that the all of the hubbub has died down, I can jot some musings. This is NOT a review for any "Soph/Frosh"s out there who are surfing the web.

"Sing" is an institution in many NYC High Schools. The grades (separately or as teams) write and perform an original musical sung to popular tunes and compete for artistic supremacy. It would not be an understatement to say that these events are loaded with the requisite angst of any lumbering musical comedy and the added pressure of beating the pants off of the Seniors.

I had the pleasure of comparing the experience at two of the city's premiere "Sing" competitions; Murrow, Brooklyn's own little "broadWAY" and Stuyvesant, where I am told that in Tim Robbin's senior year they wrote their own music.

Both student bodies were bold and fearless, which as a Broadway professional myself, I found both horrifying and endearing. The sets were beautiful and free in a way that shocked me out of my smug professionalism. I wouldn't have had the guts to attempt the giant paper mache', man-eating volcano. Really, really, I didn't think teenagers could paint like that. I am not being patronizing when I say that it had gorgeous freedom and explosive color. The really cool thing was how different the production styles of each school were. The kids at Murrow are Broadway kids. They know their power ballad and the importance of having the chorus "sing out Louise" They used their huge chorus of hundreds to fill the stage with elaborate dance numbers that were as aerobic as they were audible. Stuy on the other hand resembled the Sugar Plum Fairy's, dance of many nations from the "Nutcracker". They assembled clever stories that were a framework for the many, many multicultural vignettes. They say it isn't a Stuy "Sing" until you've seen the "Ballywood" number.

All of the productions had their good points, but I have to give special mention to the Stuy Seniors who did a classic production of a "Head vs. Heart" love story, literally... it takes place in a body... there was a guy playing the role of the Bladder. I knew that we were in for a treat during the first double helix, DNA dance number, soon to be followed by the four Hormones, in their leather jackets and DA's singing doo op. My favorite character, after the aerobic pink Pair of Lungs and the Drunken Liver Ladies, was the Appendix wearing a giant "?" on his sweater. He took one for the team during the climactic Virus vs. White Blood Cell dance number. The attention to detail was impressive as my nerdy family observed, because during the dance whenever a virus attacked a cell, the cell would throw off this shirt representing the exploding of the cell wall. I didn't even know that happens, but they assured me that the biology was accurate.

Kudos to all involved. Go FRESH!

Green Brooklyn Schools

Hip, Hip Hoorah for PS 154 and their new lunch trays! They are using lunch trays made of easily bio-degradable materials. "Parents Against Styrofoam in Schools" wants the Bloomberg administration to re-examine the use of styrofoam lunch trays. 850,000 lunch trays are used in the New York City public schools when classes are in session. This is a fantastic effort, but not the only one.
The Children's School has a cell phone recycling program started by a teacher. There is a rare material in cell phones that can easily be recycled and reused. It is initiatives like this started by passionate people that make the difference.
And of course, as a Murrow parent, I have to give a shout out to the Murrow Recycling club. They have been extremely successful working with the school custodial staff in their uphill battle to recycle paper and plastic. They are currently trying to get the word out about bottled water. The energy used to create the bottle, ship it, and dispose of it is extremely wasteful. Just bring your own reusable bottle to school and fill it with award winning NYC Municipal water.

New Urban Team Sport (NUTS)

I invented a new sport in my mind tonight. “In my mind” is my favorite kind sport because I always win. I went to Parent/Teacher conferences at Murrow. We are blessed with a “Type A” perfectionist. I have nothing to complain to her teachers about and it is usually a 3-minute love fest. (Hey, I like my compliments cheap and often) The trick is to see all of the teachers in the 2 hours allotted. I need my teacher face time.

Let me explain the rules. You wait with hundreds of other parents in a giant shivering mass outside the school doors like it’s a Who concert with festival seating. (Imagine how those teachers feel, trapped inside with only an endless line of “issues” before them) If you are an “elite” NUTS player like myself, you have a list of teachers and room numbers coded by location. In a school the size of Murrow, this is key. You race to the farthest room, sign your name on the list outside the door and repeat on all lists in the near vicinity. Then you send your husband who is having trouble reading the map to sign up on other floors. (This may be a tactical error) If you are positioned outside the door when your name comes up on the list, you may go in and have your 3 minutes. If you arrive back to the classroom after your name has already been called you go to the end of the now endless list. The art of it is to fit in a couple of the less popular teachers between the majors. The team who finishes all their conferences in the least amount of time gets to go home and have a stiff drink.

10pts off for brow beating the poor student organizing the list outside the door.
5pts for doing the quick switch with the team right behind you on the list when you arrive just a minute too late.
2pts off for getting cornered by the candy sellers
10pts for giving them a $5 and not taking any candy
5pts for snagging a chair
10pts off for erasing names ahead of you on the list
10pts for visiting the phys ed. Teacher
Good Luck and may the GAMES BEGIN!

Billionaires fixing schools

I read the How many billionaires does it take to fix a school system article in the NY Times Magazine with interest this weekend. The article wasn't about the public/private partnerships that are always on my mind. The Park's Dept. has the conservancies and the schools have the billionaires and the PTA grant writers. It has worked for some, which is lovely for the parks and schools in neighborhoods with the cash and the will (in that order) to do something civic minded. The problem is the inequity. Public education is the great democratizing dream. But that isn't what I want to talk about.
It was fascinating to hear how the new billionaires are giving. I like the nibbleness and pragmatic outlook of the Gates Foundation. I like that they don't need their names on a building, that they want to effect change and that is trickier. I thought it was very good advice for them to "spend their money the way they made their money, which means investing in great people, testing out new ideas, being tough-minded in evaluating what's working and what isn't." What makes me nervous is scope of change. I don't like the thought that the NYC school system is a behemoth and we have to turn the whole honking thing around. That the big money goes to developing a strategy that is usually too broad to be effective and not given enough time to develop on the ground. The problem is that every child and every community is different. The school system is not a factory producing widgits. There are no big strategies that will ever work.
The only policy that really makes sense to me is the creation of the Empowerment schools. The principal, the teachers and the parents are the only ones who know what is really working. The article mentioned a "Parent's union" and it made great sense to me. I wish a billionaire would finance a lobbyist for the Parents Union so our needs and wishes would be the first and loudest voice in the room.